Staring at the path up the mountain on this spectacular day in the Rhone-Alps region of southeast France, I see a winding road, leading into a beautiful forest, dark and unknown. I have no idea where I am going, just up…. I do however, know where I came from. Today is the last day of my 53rd trip around the sun. The end begets the beginning. Only a short distance into the shadow of the mystery is visible, broken by glimpses of sunlight between the shadows. I take all parts of myself forward, everything I have been, the light and the shadow parts I’m not so proud of, the things that don’t get posted. All that has happened to me, all the experiences and people who I’ve crossed paths with this year and all years, are the summation of who I have been and who I am now. Stepping forward into a nine year, a year laden with endings, completions, ‘letting goes’, I know there will be freshness of new beginnings with the embrace of the unknown. I feel grateful for my past, the triumphs and challenges, all the hugs that hugged back, the joys and tears. It has been a beautiful cycle I am grateful for.
In this beautiful natural sanctuary I remember. The collective memory stirs my soul, and I remember all the churches, temples and holy sites I’ve been to all over the globe, spectacular monuments to the Divine. I remember, they have been built by slaves, brutality, death and pain, all in the name of love and God. Many of the natural holy sites of ancient culture have been decimated to reconstruct churches on top of them in the name of God. I remember. My mother used to take me to the cemeteries in the places we traveled, literally all over the world. They held deep reminders of the transient nature of Life’s path, the full cycle including birth and death, portals for Life to flow through as a gift of earthly spirit. It is a blessing to age, a celebration many don’t get to enjoy. I remember. I am grateful and in this I remember the future, my future and with hope, a collective future.
I sit opened eyes, snuggled into this green refuge of the Holy, She holds me like the trees, feeding and nourishing my Soul. I feel like a speck of nothing embedded in this endless beauty, and at the same time as exceptionally blessed and expanded as anyone could dream of. I feel eternal and grounded in belonging to Her, even with the relentless begging of the paradox of conscious existence in the fabric of time and space, the duality drama between my limiting ego and endless Soul.
As I move into this next cycle, may my will align with Divine will. I see tomorrow as I see everyday, a hidden path of shadow sprinkled with sparkling beams of light, continually unveiling itself like the rolling out of red carpet; destination, the mountaintop of my Life, a life fully loved and lived. With the trust only time can give, faith beckons me forward into the sacred journey of the wise carrying the seeds of knowledge only living the experience of love, loss and atonement can bring. Beyond seeking, I am feeling into my life, a holy pilgrimage, each step an offering, each step a gift into the deep listening to Life.
The songs of the birds attune to the fire of the sun, the whispering wind on my cheeks swirling clouds into angel wings pointing the way, the wild flowers at my feet guide my walk marking the boundaries and revealing the open pastures. This is the deep listening, the compass and the guiding Way up the mountain. May my will align to Divine Will, may I be where, when and with whom I need to be for the evolution of my soul and all souls. May my will serve the Divine, may my every thought, word and deed “plant a beautiful garden”. – Mabel. May we all plant beautiful gardens. I remember, Love. Amen, Om Namah Shivaya, Om Shrim Lakshmiye Namaha, Blessed be.